When I built my little photo-mosaic yesterday, my trip to Oslo of a few years back bypassed me completely. It was only this morning, for no particular reason, that I found myself thinking of it, as I realised that I didn't include it in my little bird's eye view of places I've been to. And that's a shame because I remember this city as exceptionally white, blue, sunny and cool, how could I have possibly forgotten I've been there?
This sent me off on an over-drive of memories, thinking about how we tend to forget about people, places, events, unless we keep a record of them. I can assure you that the past two years or so are almost perfectly clear in my mind, and all because I vouched to keep a record of most things on here. And then I keep photographic records as well and receipt records and postcard records and lots of other records that will help me to remember, one day.
This is the reason why it is even more vital that I write a few lines today, as I have no image to post and I am seething over it. It was, and still is, the most fantastic autumnal day, with a near-clear blue sky, crinkling leaves underfoot and a cool breeze that signals the new season is well underway. I felt so at peace with myself today that my heart was jumping up and down in my chest with excitement, as if, I presume, it would do in case of winning the lottery perhaps. But no, I didn't win last night (I put a line in for real) and yet today was still a thrilling day spent in contemplation of where I am at and where I am going.
That's the clincher: where am I going? I don't know and I don't care. I realised not long ago that I resent this continuous forward-planning. I always used to forward-plan when I was younger and did it actually get me somewhere special? No, it didn't, and so now I've stopped doing it, I go with the flow, one day at a time. The post-PhD early days seemed weird. I think I was in mourning in some respects. Now I'm embracing the new and the unexpected and do you know something? When you expect nothing, you get loads.
