I feel like flying high today, even though nothing ground-breaking happened. Or maybe it did and I just prefer to Proceed With Caution. What is it that has made us so scared to broadcast to the world that we had a good day, that we had a good meeting and that something really exciting may be around the corner?
I don’t know what it is, but people seem to secretely rejoice in others’ failure. Have you ever noticed how someone may come up to you with a ‘How are you?’ delivered with a cocked head and a patethically furrowed brow? That’s when they do not really mean to ask you how you are but how you are coping with being ill/ jobless/ poor/ fat/ insert-failure-of-choice-here. And so we tread around as if on eggshells, fearful of our own victories and of talking about them because, you know, it’s just so much better to pretend that it’s business as usual, that there are no news because good news is no news and that everything’s shit. Do you know what I was reading only recently? That it is distasteful to be seen around carrying shopping bags at a time of economic uncertainty. Are they kidding me? So now I am supposed to feel crap because I’ve got money to spend? Do people really care whether the Chanel carrier bag conceals a nail polish rather than the 2.55 to-swoon-for handbag? Should they? Honestly!
And so today I am flying high because I had a fantastic meeting at a local university and because there may well be a potential post for me coming up really soon. That’s all I have ever wanted to do, to be a researcher at a university, and now that it is about to happen I almost feel unsure of myself, my capabilities and even my wishes. It is indeed true that, the more negative the thoughts of those around you, and the more negative you yourself become. Yikes.